Graphing calculators were at peak popularity while I was in high school. Cell phones were just starting to become popular and smart phones hadn’t been invented yet. The most popular graphing calculators were made by Texas Instruments (abbreviated TI). In a stroke of genius, each TI calculator came with a two-way downlink cable that let two calculators exchange programs and data. The calculators came with a built in language called “TI-BASIC". TI separately sold cables for connecting their calculators to a computer and downloading programs from the Internet.
There were a few programs available online to solve Pre-Calc and AP Calculus problems and students with the PC-calculator cable downloaded and shared them with the class. One example was QUAD2, which displayed the simplified quadratic formula given the coefficients. I loved QUAD2 and the idea of letting my calculator take the calculus tests for me was really exciting. Early in the semester, I decided to learn TI-BASIC, jump ahead in the pre-calc textbook, and code up solvers to many of the questions I would answer that school year. This also involved merging all of the code from QUAD2 and others into one massive TI-BASIC program called JGMATH.
Needless to say, my classmates loved these programs, but most of the teachers did not. The exception was my AP Calculus teacher: Dr Phingstag. Dr Phingstag was an extremely witty and empathetic man. I don’t know if he had a doctorate or we called him doctor because he was very smart. He day-traded in between classes and hosted the chess club after school. One time at some stuff-on-the-walls restaurant (I think it was TGIFridays) I happened to be sitting a couple of tables away from Dr and Mrs Phingstag. It was inspiring to see the two of them having a pleasant conversation. This may not make sense to a lot of readers, but seeing a contented older couple had such a powerful impact on me.
Dr Phingstag gave nicknames to many of the students in his class. Most of them got numbers, because “prisoners don’t have names, only numbers.” My nickname was JGMATH. Other students began calling me JG or JGMATH outside of class. This nickname stuck and became part of the school folklore after I graduated. When I went back to visit Dr Phingstag years later, students were still using JGMATH. The class did not believe that JGMATH was a real person. Dr Phingstag deduced that I must be a descendant of Pythagoras because I copied QUAD2 into JGMATH, similar to how Pythagoras stole the Pythagorean Theorem from “real” mathematicians.
Joe Brum was another student in my Pre-Calc class who was great at TI BASIC. Joe and I worked together on an procedurally-generated video game (we’ll talk about that in another post) and some joke apps that spread with virality through the school. One day, Joe figured out how to dial the school PA system from an outside line and broadcast the cancellation of school two hours early. Joe and I had a lot in common and got along well.
About half-way through Junior Year, disaster struck. Someone was caught storing written answers to chemistry questions on their calculator and the teacher was furious. The school staff decided on a new policy to wipe our calculators before the start of each exam. People who depended on JGMATH to pass calculus (not my intention when I wrote it) panicked. I couldn’t afford a computer link or another calculator, so I was going to lose hundreds of hours of work. Joe and I put our heads together.
The way teachers wiped the calculators was by having all students go to the “10: ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO WIPE ALL DATA?” screen when class started. Then the teachers would walk down the rows pressing the OK button, see the calculator begin to factory reset, and move down the line, similar to how a warden checks the cells of their inmates. When the teachers got to our calculators, they were also displaying “10: ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO WIPE ALL DATA?”. Upon pressing OK, JGMATH would count by ones to a billion and then return, data intact. The latest and greatest tool in the JGMATH tool belt: a fake factory reset app.
I still remember Joe’s hysterical laughter after we pulled it off. It’s by far the most euphoric I’d ever seen him. After the fake factory reset trick went mainstream, the school decided to mandate regular calculators for most subjects and graphing calculators for advanced math. Dr Phingstag never asked anyone to wipe their calculators before a test.
The good
Writing solvers for math tests was really fun and the first program I wrote that was useful to many people. During my senior year, I was hired by the Orange County School District to help kickstart an online learning program called the “Florida Virtual School". I worked there for five years, which helped pay for college expenses and provided education to thousands of sick, disabled, or otherwise home-bound children.
The bad
I don’t know what ever happened to the JGMATH program. By the time I could get a TI Computer link, my calculator had died and I lost those programs. I figure by now people use their smart phones or have an iPad in the classroom so the JGMATH program is in digital Valhalla.
The Ugly
Later that Junior year, Joe dropped out of high school. I don’t know this for sure, but I believe there were problems at home and with drugs. The last time I spoke to him in class, he said he would join the navy on a nuclear submarine. To this day I don’t know if that was a lucid plan or not. Joe Brum, if you are still alive out there, I hope you joined the military like you planned. You were always super smart.
The Takeaway
It may seem crazy to lose hundreds of hours of programming, and it is definitely a bummer. But there are so many projects, so many ideas, that it didn’t seem significant at the time. Fast forwarding to today: work has it’s ups and downs. When the downs come, we can remember ourselves as children, coding for free and for the fun of it. That’s what can keep us in the game when times are tough.
We always underestimate how much things change in the future. Your “permanent record” isn’t permanent. In fact, very few bad things are permanent. So, it’s important to take a step back and laugh things off. Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diabetes, then insulin is the best medicine.